my brother called me at night,
first started as a "how's everything" call,
the occasional status update.
then it became a fairly long conversation,
mostly about faith.
about involving Him in our lives,
how even the biggest troubles and hardships are manageable if we involve Him in it,
and and even the smallest things trouble us otherwise.
as we talked,
I began to realize that
while I rely on God on many things,
I ironically try to rely only on myself when trying to maintain my relationship with God.
a very prideful, stubborn thing to do..
when I feel like I have gone away from Him,
I try to go back to Him myself,
asking no one for spiritual guidance.
it's a dangerous situation where I might one day be unable to handle on my own
but have no idea where to get help.
now I know,
so Father, help me change.
